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rhondda rudie
4th June 2011, 01:09 AM
A bloke goes into his local patent office and says to the clerk "I want to patent these apples".

"You can't patent apples,they've been around for millions of years" replied the clerk.

"Not ones like these" said the bloke confidently.

The bloke took out an apple and gave it to the clerk."This is a strawberries and cream flavour apple,take a bite" he said.The clerk took a bite and was amazed at the lovely strawberry flavour."Now bite the other side" said the bloke.The clerk did so and was impressed by the beautiful taste of fresh cream.

The bloke then produced another apple."This one is fish and chip flavour" he said.The clerk repeated the exercise and was once again impressed by the authentic flavours.

The bloke took out a third apple and said quietly "This one is going to be part of our adult range,it's a vagina flavoured apple".

The bloke eagerly took a bite but this time spat it out in disgust.

"That tastes like s**t" said the clerk.

"Of course it does" said the bloke "Turn it round".:shock::bigwink:

DreamBig
4th June 2011, 01:17 AM
Tom, I understand the joke. It raises a few eyebrows, sure.

Perhaps I'm too mature to find humour here...

rhondda rudie
4th June 2011, 01:27 AM
Tom, I understand the joke. It raises a few eyebrows, sure.

Perhaps I'm too mature to find humour here...

When you get a bit older you'll learn to regress to a sniggering schoolboy with a mental age of about 4 years less than your current chronological age Anant.It will happen,I guarantee it.:-P

DreamBig
4th June 2011, 01:37 AM
When you get a bit older you'll learn to regress to a sniggering schoolboy with a mental age of about 4 years less than your current chronological age Anant.It will happen,I guarantee it.:-P

I WAS JOKING TOM!!!!

Look mate, after reading your joke, I was on the floor laughing for all damnation to see :bounceyellow:

rhondda rudie
4th June 2011, 01:39 AM
I WAS JOKING TOM!!!!

Look mate, after reading your joke, I was on the floor laughing for all damnation to see :bounceyellow:

Oh right,good,lol.:beer:

DreamBig
4th June 2011, 01:46 AM
England recovered well today! have you been watching it?

rhondda rudie
4th June 2011, 01:49 AM
England recovered well today! have you been watching it?

No,I haven't long come home from work.I know they were 3 down early on,what was the score at stumps?

DreamBig
4th June 2011, 01:52 AM
No,I haven't long come home from work.I know they were 3 down early on,what was the score at stumps?

from 22/3 to 342/6


AJ Strauss* lbw b Welegedara 4 14 12 1 0 33.33
AN Cook c Maharoof b Fernando 96 281 164 15 0 58.53
IJL Trott lbw b Lakmal 2 13 9 0 0 22.22
KP Pietersen c Dilshan b Lakmal 2 10 8 0 0 25.00
IR Bell c Paranavitana b Welegedara 52 148 106 8 0 49.05
EJG Morgan lbw b Lakmal 79 167 128 10 2 61.71
MJ Prior† not out 73 83 14 0 87.95
SCJ Broad not out 17 27 3 0 62.96

Sorry for the clutter, copy paste can go wrong sometimes :p the numbers are in this order - runs, minutes, balls, fours, sixes, strike rate
Except for the 2 players not out, they have no minutes recorded yet :)

rhondda rudie
4th June 2011, 01:57 AM
from 22/3 to 342/6


AJ Strauss* lbw b Welegedara 4 14 12 1 0 33.33
AN Cook c Maharoof b Fernando 96 281 164 15 0 58.53
IJL Trott lbw b Lakmal 2 13 9 0 0 22.22
KP Pietersen c Dilshan b Lakmal 2 10 8 0 0 25.00
IR Bell c Paranavitana b Welegedara 52 148 106 8 0 49.05
EJG Morgan lbw b Lakmal 79 167 128 10 2 61.71
MJ Prior† not out 73 83 14 0 87.95
SCJ Broad not out 17 27 3 0 62.96

Sorry for the clutter, copy paste can go wrong sometimes :p the numbers are in this order - runs, minutes, balls, fours, sixes, strike rate
Except for the 2 players not out, they have no minutes recorded yet :)
Thanks Anant.So Pietersen failed again.There's no stopping Cook though,what a player.Shame he failed just short of another ton.

DreamBig
4th June 2011, 01:58 AM
Not gonna lie, I used to think Cook was awful. The last few months are changing my perception of him though!

rhondda rudie
4th June 2011, 02:08 AM
Not gonna lie, I used to think Cook was awful. The last few months are changing my perception of him though!

I felt the same but the last Ashes tour was the making of him.He looks like he's never going to get out every time he goes out to bat now.

TiciaBlovesUB
4th June 2011, 06:32 AM
A bloke goes into his local patent office and says to the clerk "I want to patent these apples".

"You can't patent apples,they've been around for millions of years" replied the clerk.

"Not ones like these" said the bloke confidently.

The bloke took out an apple and gave it to the clerk."This is a strawberries and cream flavour apple,take a bite" he said.The clerk took a bite and was amazed at the lovely strawberry flavour."Now bite the other side" said the bloke.The clerk did so and was impressed by the beautiful taste of fresh cream.

The bloke then produced another apple."This one is fish and chip flavour" he said.The clerk repeated the exercise and was once again impressed by the authentic flavours.

The bloke took out a third apple and said quietly "This one is going to be part of our adult range,it's a vagina flavoured apple".

The bloke eagerly took a bite but this time spat it out in disgust.

"That tastes like s**t" said the clerk.

"Of course it does" said the bloke "Turn it round".:shock::bigwink:

Oh NO! Is there a "gag" emoticon?

Dean M
4th June 2011, 08:49 AM
England recovered well today! have you been watching it?


i didnt know england was feeling ill???????

ANiMALicious
4th June 2011, 09:27 AM
great joke tom... shame about your own hijack though ;)


lol


Ani

Saad
4th June 2011, 12:46 PM
Not gonna lie, I used to think Cook was awful. The last few months are changing my perception of him though!


well he's no Mark Ramprakash :haha: :bigwink:

FATHER TED2
8th June 2011, 11:40 AM
:laff: :laff: :laff: