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reasons
12th March 2007, 10:33 PM
Lady Penelope was making an official visit to a mental asylum. She was being escorted by the man in charge and she said to him "Tell me my good man what criteria do you use to decide whether these people need incarcerating?"

"Well madam" he said "What we do is fill a bath full with water and then give the person a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket and ask them to empty the bath."

"Oh I see" she said "Obviously the ones who use the bucket are the ones that are sane"

"Oh no madam" he replied "The ones that are sane are the ones who pull the plug. Would you like a bed by the window?"


----------------------------------------------------------

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk to her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of it's socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches our, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you, she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been so incredible!

"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies....."You just happened to catch my eye."


-----------------------------------------------------


Dick Cheney is briefing George
Bush in the Oval Office.

"Oh and the last item is, sir, five Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq today."

Bush goes pale, his jaw hanging open in stunned disbelief. He buries his face in his hands, muttering "My God...My God, those poor souls".

"Mr. President," says Cheney, "we lose soldiers all the time, and it's terrible, but I've never seen you so upset. What's the matter?"

Bush looks up and says "How many is a 'Brazilian'?"
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


:lol: :lol: :lol:

San Diego
12th March 2007, 10:44 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: How many is a brazillian....oh that George, thank god he'll be gone in a year... :laff: :laff: :laff:

kate13
12th March 2007, 10:45 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

STING
12th March 2007, 11:05 PM
Lady Penelope was making an official visit to a mental asylum. She was being escorted by the man in charge and she said to him "Tell me my good man what criteria do you use to decide whether these people need incarcerating?"

"Well madam" he said "What we do is fill a bath full with water and then give the person a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket and ask them to empty the bath."

"Oh I see" she said "Obviously the ones who use the bucket are the ones that are sane"

"Oh no madam" he replied "The ones that are sane are the ones who pull the plug. Would you like a bed by the window?"


----------------------------------------------------------

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk to her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of it's socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches our, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you, she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been so incredible!

"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies....."You just happened to catch my eye."


-----------------------------------------------------


Dick Cheney is briefing George
Bush in the Oval Office.

"Oh and the last item is, sir, five Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq today."

Bush goes pale, his jaw hanging open in stunned disbelief. He buries his face in his hands, muttering "My God...My God, those poor souls".

"Mr. President," says Cheney, "we lose soldiers all the time, and it's terrible, but I've never seen you so upset. What's the matter?"

Bush looks up and says "How many is a 'Brazilian'?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


:lol: :lol: :lol:

absolutely love shite like the one i've highlighted :laff::laff::laff::laff: x loads

Waltjo
12th March 2007, 11:08 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: Hey Neil :roll: where you been :wink: haven't seen you posting for a while lol :P :P

ubs4me
12th March 2007, 11:35 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

reasons
13th March 2007, 12:34 PM
you know whats its like always a brazilian things to do :lol: :wink: :o

MAYBETOMORROW
15th March 2007, 06:25 AM
:lol: :lol: :lol: