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mozlongtime
15th February 2007, 11:30 AM
A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Asda in Dundee with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Asda. Nice children you've got there-are they twins?"
The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl: "Of course they bloody aren't! The oldest, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you think they look alike, ya dickead?"


"Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone would shag you twice!" :grin:

:smokin: :smokin:

loekie
15th February 2007, 11:31 AM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: Maybe she went to a certainbank Moz :haha:

Erin
15th February 2007, 11:55 AM
:laff: :laff: :laff: Good One!! Here, when it gets sent around, its "WalMart" instead of Asda and we don't say shag!

Oh by the way, there is a club here called the "Shag Club" and its a dance club - my mom had to tell her friend to be careful who she told she belonged to a "shag club" - sounds like a swingers club!!

mozlongtime
15th February 2007, 12:07 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: Good One!! Here, when it gets sent around, its "WalMart" instead of Asda and we don't say shag!

Oh by the way, there is a club here called the "Shag Club" and its a dance club - my mom had to tell her friend to be careful who she told she belonged to a "shag club" - sounds like a swingers club!!

A Shag is also a bird (I know - don't say it :ooh: )

:smokin: :smokin:

loekie
15th February 2007, 12:15 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: Good One!! Here, when it gets sent around, its "WalMart" instead of Asda and we don't say shag!

Oh by the way, there is a club here called the "Shag Club" and its a dance club - my mom had to tell her friend to be careful who she told she belonged to a "shag club" - sounds like a swingers club!!

A Shag is also a bird (I know - don't say it :ooh: )

:smokin: :smokin:

:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: Well at least in Holland it's decent ""tobacco" :haha:

MAYBETOMORROW
15th February 2007, 12:18 PM
Great joke Moz! :grin: :grin: :laff: :laff:

littlecrow
15th February 2007, 02:25 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

UBlong2me
15th February 2007, 02:26 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

janice
15th February 2007, 02:30 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

ubs4me
15th February 2007, 03:24 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

KGB_I_was_NOT
15th February 2007, 03:44 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :beer:

Groovy 40
15th February 2007, 03:55 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:



even my mum laughed :rolleyes: :grin: :laff: :laff: :laff:

Ang4UB40
15th February 2007, 04:21 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

Waltjo
15th February 2007, 07:39 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: Well at least in Holland it's decent ""tobacco"

Lol down here it's a really strong tobacco, which stinks the house out and years ago people used to chew it :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: I dunno if it's even around now :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

NEPCHOON ROSE
15th February 2007, 07:45 PM
its also carpet


when i was a youngster my gran often used the words she has shag on the floor of frontroom and the bedroom floors :grin:

Waltjo
15th February 2007, 07:53 PM
its also carpet


when i was a youngster my gran often used the words she has shag on the floor of frontroom and the bedroom floors :grin:

Yeah :rolleyes: Hence the word shag-pile :grin: :grin: I remember shag-pile carpets :rolleyes: do they still have em?

CazLuvsUBs
15th February 2007, 08:38 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

normansfan
15th February 2007, 11:34 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

STING
15th February 2007, 11:36 PM
A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Asda in Dundee with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Asda. Nice children you've got there-are they twins?"
The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl: "Of course they bloody aren't! The oldest, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you think they look alike, ya dickead?"


"Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone would shag you twice!" :grin:

:smokin: :smokin: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

MAYBETOMORROW
16th February 2007, 12:48 AM
A Shag is also a bird (I know - don't say it :ooh: )

:smokin: :smokin:

:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: Well at least in Holland it's decent ""tobacco" :haha:


So Gerda, if I came to Holland and asked you for a good shag, would you give me a smoke?! :ooh: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:


:haha: