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View Full Version : They're not big and they're not bloody clever!


Good Ambition
21st June 2006, 12:08 PM
Midget CHAVS. :bigwink:

mamto3girls
21st June 2006, 12:26 PM
omg lol :love:

MAYBETOMORROW
21st June 2006, 01:20 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff:

ubs4me
21st June 2006, 01:32 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff:

janice
21st June 2006, 01:42 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

Debby2106
21st June 2006, 01:53 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

Lou.B
21st June 2006, 03:17 PM
:aagh: :laff: :laff:

bolamont
21st June 2006, 03:19 PM
:grin: :grin: :grin: :laff: :laff: :laff:

San Diego
21st June 2006, 03:44 PM
Ok, dumb question, but what is a chav :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :laff: :laff:

littlecrow
21st June 2006, 05:25 PM
The Definition of a Chav

1. chav
Picture this a young lad about 12 years of age and 4 ½ feet high baseball cap at ninety degrees in a imitation addidas tracksuit, with trouser legs tucked into his socks (of course, is definitely the height of fashion). This lad is strutting around, fag in one hand jewellery al over the over, outside McDonalds acting as if he is 8 foot tall and built like a rugby player, when some poor unsuspecting adult (about 17/18) walks round the corner wanting to go to mcdonalds for his dinner glances at the young lad, the young lad jumps up in complete disgust and says “Whats your problem? Wanna make sommin of it? Bling Bling” when the adult starts to walk towards the young lad, the young lad pisses himself and runs off to either his pregnant 14-year-old girlfriend or his brother in the army crying his eyes out.
My mate has become a chav what can i do? answer is shoot him before it is too late
2. chav
Chav :- Cheltenham Average
More common than flys around ****, often wear burberry and are mistaken for intelligent life. Many of these sub-speiced humaniods gather around sertain locations about the towns and cities of Gloustershire, the most common of all locations is McDonalds. Easily spotted, look for fake gold, the ord Nike on clothing. Listen for the mispronouciation of childs words.
e.g isn't it, this is spoken as innit, and Friend becomes mush, or bruv, though many of them say they could "fukin batter ya" most of them couldn't even batter a fish. To spot a chav, be it male or female, (there is very little difference between the two) look for hair that is shorter than freshly cut grass, the inability to grow over 5 ft and the lack of education. If approuched by one of these humaniod Twats, simply reply with a smart comment or use a big word, such as car, or bus, or floor, mostly they will become confused and walk off, in rare occasions the have been known to attempt to harm people to little effect. It is well known that chavs have little or no friends, just a "crew" of mockly idiotic fools with brand name clothes and there trousers tucked into there socks, also see pikey or townie
Do not be fooled by there Humanoid looks, they are of another race, mainly scum
For the greater good of the World, Legalise Chav hunting. Grab a gun, first one to 50 burberry hats gets a Metallica CD!!

3. chav
Chav's Charter:-
1. Drop litter - you don't want rubbish in your pockets do you?
2. Replace an adequate and legal exhaust on your car with an inappropriate one and breach the peace with stressful noise polution.
3. Know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
4. Adore brand names and suffocate all opprtunity for real quality to speak for itself.
5. Drag everyone else down at school or work by constantly challenging in a negative way accepted practices.
6. Don't treat McDonalds as an occasional treat or convenience, treat it as a way of life until you become morbidly obese.
7. Watch television rather than living a real life but aspire to showcasing your dysfunction on a chat show.
8. Smoke cigarettes
9. Erode the language with which you were educated to the point that you can no longer remember how to speak properly... After all the best way to articulate yourself is with a gun.
10. Definitly don't develop a spiritual side,death probably doesn't apply to you
- you're there already

4. chav
Derived from Chatham in Kent, this term can be applied loosely to every culture with a nasty, thieving element. There are many variants of this creature but all are subject to the following commonalities:

Chavs are completely Amoral, having never been subjected to right and wrong by their inattentive, uncaring and often absent parents.

Chavs are part Magpie, evidentially supported by their love of all things shiny, or as vaccuous, illiterate street-slang would say 'Bling'. They can be seen twokking from the Jewelry counter in Argos/Index.

Whatever their ethnic background, Chavs have a built-in affinity to hip-hop/R&B, even if they are inherently racist (see the Scottish). They see their life as glamorous and cool.

Chavs are for the most part, extremely stupid. However, some of them render a form of low cunning, which can be misinterpreted as intelligence. However this is false. A Chav has no desire to better themself through honest means nor learn anything outside of car modification.

All chavs think that they are nails. Again, this is false. Sitting in a beaten up nova smoking lamberts does not precipitate a healthy body. The irony being that a Chav owns mainly sportswear, yet will only break a sweat if running from the police.

Chavs are incredibly fertile beasts, and are highly successful breeders. Where they come unstuck is having to look after the offspring which their 13 yr old drunken fumble produces. More often that not the child will crow to be a Chav, having received no more guidance on life than the parent.

Chavs have a fond love for cars, as well as a Vin Diesel fixation. Rather than buy a nice car to start with, a chav will spend all their dole and tax-free labouring cash on upgrading a 10 year old car with 200,000 miles on the clock. The end product will invariably be a luminous monstrosity with at least one serious collision to it's name.
Come back with my bumper, you ****ing Chav thief.

5. Chav
Chav - Sub species of human

Commonly thought to be of inferior intellect, the Chavette surprises us with its cunning plan to avoid taking up a professional career and provide itself with free accommodation supplied by tax payers by spawning multi coloured mini chavs at a early stage in life, usually mid teens.
Clearly recognisable by their distinctive tribal Burberry they congregate in town centres and on street corners, Chavs have a reputation of being creative with public property and motor vehicles, building themselves Chaviots out of mechcano sets and strip lighting, and providing us with humorous banta written on toilet walls like ‘****’ and ‘Tasha woz ere’ in an attempt to relieve our boredom while urinating.
Their language is a basic form of English thus avoiding any words they cannot spell or pronounce, even to the extent of creating new words only they know the meaning of.
Hunting in large groups Chavs will single out the weakest, smallest prey and attack it without mercy avoiding any personal injury and insuring victory.
Chavs unfortunately don't yet fall into the category of rodent and in effect cannot be bludgeoned to death under the guise of pest control. Darn!-
I think I speak for everyone when I say thank you Chavs for the great contribution you’ve made to this country, you’ve made it what it what it is today – a **** hole.
also see: Burdon on society.

6. chav
chav (noun)- 1 Anyone wearing any kind of burberry clothing 2 A youth usually, although not neccessarily in his or her teens who has an undying belief that they are the hardest and coolest individual to have ever walked this planet. The male chav is distinguishable by his birght colours and imitaion gold jewellry which he uses to attract chavettes (see next). Any eye contact will be met with a tirade of abuse assuming the chav is with his herd. 3 Chavette A female chav who is distinguishable by the use of earings resting on her shoulders, very innapropriate clothing, and a pram. Chavettes are very rarely seen on their own and prefer to hang around with the dominant chav in their herd, usually the father of their child. 4 Chavish the dialect of the chav. Believing that he is a bad boy gangsta rapper, the chav or chavette will converse with others in a secrect language. Scientists have been working for years on trying to decipher chavish but to no avail. Other than swear words that you will manage to pick out, you will not understand any of this tirade; simply assume its not pleasant and probably involves your parents and a dog. (see example)
ere dean wats that nigga lookin at-ee is ganna get a beatin-dere be blood on da floor man. oi faggot you startin or wha? yo mumma got banged up by ma dog hoe.


7. Chav
From the French ‘Chave Act’ of 1217AD. In direct response to the Holy Roman Empire’s policy of over breeding among the evolutionary challenged (See ‘Missing Link), the 3 economic superpowers of Europe, (Germany, France and Britain) signed the ‘Act’ in an attempt to maintain ‘Pikey’ numbers within their states at a manageable level.

The basic premise was the rotational hosting of wars (See ‘Culls’) and distribution of ‘Social Diseases’ in order to regularly prune back numbers.

However, since 1945 the Act has fallen into disuse due to the excessive pressures of the Liberals (See STDs) and vain attempts to bring new regional partners within the Act to re-empower it have not been a success.

The net result is that levels are at an epidemic status and these bog dwelling, descendents of leper faeces are swelling out from their natural habit and invading ever social corner of the British Isles.
Get off my land, Chav. Release the hounds, Winthrop.

8. chav
Oh the simple Chav, what a constant source of amusement you are!
Chavs are the dregs of human existence. They live merely to piss everyone else off with their love of crap clothing and manky gold jewellery.
They have taken the wearing of tracksuits and baseball caps to a new level of pikieness.
Chav girls (or chavettes) commonly sport the Croydon Facelift (hair pulled back in a bun so tight that it pulls their faces tight) with at least 6 dangly faux-gold earings in each ear. Also often seen pushing a pram round shopping centers while chain-smoking and wearing fake burberry or nasty velour tracksuits. A favourite accessory is a hideous gold articulated clown dangling from a thick gold chain around their pimply acne scarred necks.
Male chavs hang around in gangs spitting alot and trying to start fights with small children or anyone else that they could easily overpower (which really is just small children!). Once they are of driving age they obtain a clapped out old Nova or Metro and then spend a fortune (no one knows where this money comes from, it is one of the many mysteries of the chav) "maxing it up" with big wheels, sound systems and a huge "****er pipe" exhaust. Chavs can be seen in any copy of Max Power magazine proudly displaying their efforts at automotive design - tossers !!!
Look at the 20 inchers on me Nova, it's well phat innit! Bling Bling!

9. chav
A human with a very little brain. Can be recognised by their fake burberry, socks tucked into "sports label" trousers and endless tacky gold jewllery (mainly bought from Argos!). These primitive people are offten seen swearing,smoking and lobbing things at random people. Pity they can't see how lame they really are!
Just go into your local town centre there should be al least a gang of 8 hanging around a McDonalds somewhere....

10. chav
a slag who is always pushing a buggy with screaming kids and she's swearing at them in a scrubby common accent, she will have a cigerette in her hand, she will have acne at 25, permed hair, herpes, will wear rings on every finger and a loads of cheap necklaces most common of these has a doll on it. they wear huge massive gold loop earing which they put their ankles behind when they are having sex so that their legs don't get tired.

San Diego
21st June 2006, 05:51 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: we call that "White Trash" over here..... :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

Thanks for your help, Kim..... :grin:

Jolene
21st June 2006, 05:53 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: we call that "White Trash" over here..... :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

Thanks for your help, Kim..... :grin:


:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

:love: Jolene

Jolene
21st June 2006, 05:53 PM
Or Trailer trash :laff: :laff:


:love: Jolene

San Diego
21st June 2006, 06:00 PM
Or Trailer trash :laff: :laff:


:love: Jolene

:laff: :laff: :laff: Yep.....that too, Jolene.... :laff: :laff: :laff:

homegrown-trumpet
21st June 2006, 06:01 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

littlecrow
21st June 2006, 07:31 PM
I think they have different names in every country
:lol:

breakfast with ali
21st June 2006, 10:42 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: love the definitions! (innit! :grin: )