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ausiedeb
28th January 2006, 12:51 AM
How to shower Like a Woman

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with Bleach
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.


If there is someone who did not laugh at the truth behind this, you need to get out more. :bigwink:

Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!! :grin:

Robinsduvet
28th January 2006, 12:54 AM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

Emma B
28th January 2006, 01:38 AM
Gotta admit, i was reading it, thinkin wots this all about and then when i cum to man bit...well wot can i say hahaha, i had a big grin on my face lol! SO TRUE!!

:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

janice
28th January 2006, 09:54 AM
cant stop laughing at that very good :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

gaynorubfan05
28th January 2006, 09:54 AM
:laff: :laff: :laff:

rmd110900
28th January 2006, 11:19 AM
Hey Deb,
You forgot the bit where us men rub our bellies
and tell you women that its a fuel tank for a "LOVE MACHNIE"
:grin: :eek: :grin: :eek:

ubs4me
28th January 2006, 11:24 AM
Hey Deb,
You forgot the bit where us men rub our bellies
and tell you women that its a fuel tank for a "LOVE MACHNIE"
:grin: :eek: :grin: :eek:

:eek: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

---------------------------------------------

Big luv
kerry :king:

ausiedeb
28th January 2006, 11:34 AM
Hey Deb,
You forgot the bit where us men rub our bellies
and tell you women that its a fuel tank for a "LOVE MACHNIE"
:grin: :eek: :grin: :eek:

:laff: Rob .. you just added it to the list :bigwink: :laff:

:beer:

STING
28th January 2006, 11:34 AM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

sandyub404
28th January 2006, 01:02 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

Groovy 40
28th January 2006, 03:46 PM
Nice one Deb, totally true :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: NOT! :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :bigwink: :haha:

*Cookie*
28th January 2006, 04:06 PM
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:

MAYBETOMORROW
30th January 2006, 05:59 AM
"Woo-woo!!" :grin: :laff: