View Full Version : Hurricane Hits Uk!!!!!!

2nd October 2004, 11:22 AM
A major Hurricane (Shazza) measuring 5.8 on the scale hit in the early hours of Saturday.

Epicentre: Basildon, Essex.

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "faaackin ell" ...

The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately 30 worth of damage.

Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish Costas were damaged beyond repair.

Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.

Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived.

Essex FM (County Radio Station) reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon.

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom
crying. My youngest two Tyler-Morgan and Millie-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."

Another reported that no fat ugly wobble arsed ginger birds were hurt, though she had seen a couple of flattened pushchairs in the rubble

Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal.

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.

Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.


This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.

Clothing is most sought after, items most needed include:

-- Fila or Burberry baseball caps
-- Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
-- Shell suits (female)
-- White sport socks
-- Rockport boots
-- Any other items usually sold in Primark.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include:

-- Microwave meals
-- Tins of baked beans
-- Ice cream
-- Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.

22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.
2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

**Breaking news**

Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in claret.
"Where are you bleeding from?" they asked.
"ROMFORD" said the girl, "woss that got to do wiv it?"

2nd October 2004, 11:45 AM

2nd October 2004, 11:52 AM
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by B-4:
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in claret.
"Where are you bleeding from?" they asked.
"ROMFORD" said the girl, "woss that got to do wiv it?"<hr></blockquote>




2nd October 2004, 12:51 PM
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love jx

2nd October 2004, 01:09 PM

2nd October 2004, 02:00 PM
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2nd October 2004, 06:04 PM
Glad i could be of some service, made me chuckle when i read it so i thought i would share wwith you good people!!!!

2nd October 2004, 07:31 PM
MMMMMMMMMM not sure what to make of this as I'm from Basildon and born in Romford(well I suppose someone has to be! ;) )

graemlins/laff.gif graemlins/laff.gif graemlins/laff.gif Had me laffing really!It's a classic!

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Taffy aka SuzieQ
2nd October 2004, 11:09 PM
graemlins/laff.gif graemlins/laff.gif graemlins/laff.gif graemlins/laff.gif Lmao Good one Jon xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

3rd October 2004, 09:24 AM
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good one

4th October 2004, 01:51 AM
:D :D graemlins/laff.gif graemlins/laff.gif

4th October 2004, 11:16 PM