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Caz Vernon
11th April 2003, 03:27 PM
DRINKING PROBLEM SOLUTIONS... :D


SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.


SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.


SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar.


SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.


SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.


SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.


SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.


SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender, take taxi home.


SYMPTOM: Truck suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.


SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.


SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.


SYMPTOM: Hands hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.


SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.


SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.


SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

Chez xxx

Helena
11th April 2003, 04:57 PM
graemlins/laff.gif graemlins/laff.gif graemlins/laff.gif

dkh
11th April 2003, 05:04 PM
been there,done that graemlins/laff.gif graemlins/beer.gif

j59
11th April 2003, 06:36 PM
:p

singerman
11th April 2003, 09:36 PM
thank u chez, u have solve all the problems i have in my life, rick.x :D graemlins/beer.gif

Caz Vernon
11th April 2003, 10:13 PM
lol Rick, why the hell u think i posted it hun, was gonna post it as Hints for Rick lol

Chez xxx

Taffy aka SuzieQ
11th April 2003, 10:37 PM
graemlins/laff.gif graemlins/laff.gif graemlins/laff.gif graemlins/laff.gif i can associate with some of them graemlins/beer.gif graemlins/friends.gif graemlins/love.gif graemlins/kiss.gif

mozlongtime
11th April 2003, 11:23 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by chez:
[QB]DRINKING PROBLEM SOLUTIONS... :D


SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.


Quality!!!
graemlins/beer.gif
graemlins/laff.gif
graemlins/smokin.gif graemlins/smokin.gif

singerman
12th April 2003, 03:25 PM
awwwwww ty hun, rick.x graemlins/kiss.gif graemlins/beer.gif