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Accident of Birth
12th May 2001, 04:20 PM
TOP TEN ANSWERING MACHINE RESPONSES...

10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a tub and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling...and I'll think about returning your call.

7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a 'sexy' message, I'll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by the World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages....

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.

http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif

Cheers!
Wendy

trina
12th May 2001, 05:34 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Loved em Wendy .. keep em coming ... have to admit no 2 on the list sounds a bit like me ... maybe i should put that messege on my answer phone ....hehehehehehehehehe

http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/biggrin.gif

biglove steve
12th May 2001, 06:56 PM
Think i gotta change my answerphone messages..
nice 1 Wendy. http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif

Neonhaze
12th May 2001, 07:43 PM
http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif

swanie
12th May 2001, 08:07 PM
http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif if I wouldnt have UB40 on my voicemail already i would pick one of yours.

The Bone!!!!
12th May 2001, 10:21 PM
Very good.
http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/bouncered.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/jester.gif

limey
12th May 2001, 11:57 PM
Yep they good alright-think i,m gonna change mine for message no 9 that why then maybe those telemarketers will get the hint!!!!!!! http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/smokin.gif

It's My Delight
13th May 2001, 07:27 AM
http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif made me laugh!
keep them coming Wendy.

sweetcherrie
13th May 2001, 10:56 AM
very good, http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif

pris
14th May 2001, 06:42 PM
I can't decide between 8, 7 or 2. One of those are gonna be listened in my machine, lol.

Very good "A o B" http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif

mbg
14th May 2001, 07:26 PM
im not sure if my answer machine is good enuff to take all those messages!!
they ALL say what i would like to say!!!
keep em coming wendy!

andi x http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif

caja
14th May 2001, 07:37 PM
http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif
good 1 wendy
xchris

imported_ANDY
14th May 2001, 07:57 PM
yep no 1 for me

LadyLynne
15th May 2001, 01:25 PM
Trust u Andy
Has the bed broke again yet?

http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif

imported_col
15th May 2001, 02:29 PM
Excellent, keep em comng

ps one day I may learn how to do these smileys http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/smile.gif