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imported_col
11th May 2001, 04:51 PM
How to Shower like a woman

remove clothes and put in light and dark laundry baskets

wears long robe and closes it tight if husband appears

looks at self in mirror and makes note to do more sit ups

gets in shower, uses face cloth, body cloth, loofah, and pumice stone.

washes hair with specialty shampoo with 43 vitamins, leaves in exactly 2 minutes, lathers, rinses, repeats.

conditions hair with matching brand to shampoo, leaves on exactly 2 minutes, rinses.

uses special scrub for face, uses special body soap for body.

shaves armpits and legs.

screams when husband flushes toilet and shower goes ice cold.

turns off shower.

cleans shower walls and sprays with tilex.

gets out of shower and dries off with one small towel, then dries hair with special super absorbant hair towel.

check entire body for the remotest sign of zit, tweeze hairs.

return to bedroom in full length robe and towel wrapped around head.

How to Shower Like a Man

take off clothes and leave them in a pile or trail.

walks naked to bathroom. if sees wife along the way shakes willy and makes the "woo woo" sound.

looks at manly physique in mirror, sucks in gut to see if he has pecs (no) and admires weiner in mirror as he scratches butt.

gets in shower, doesn't bother looking for cloth doesn't use one.

washes face and armpits with soap bar.

farts and cracks up at how it echoes in the shower.

majority of time spent washing privates and surrounding area.

washes butt leaving those course hairs on the soap.

shampoos hair, no conditioner.

makes shampoo mohican hairdo

peeks out of shower to look at self in mirror again.
pees (in shower).

rinses and gets out of shower.

doesn't notice how wet the floor is from not closing shower properly.

leaves trail of water on floor and partially dries off as glancing at self in mirror again, flexes muscles and admires willy again, then heads for bedroom.

walks in bedroom with towel around waist, if passes wife whips towel off, shakes weiner and makes "woo woo" sound again.

throws wet towel on bed and dresses in 2 minutes

pris
11th May 2001, 07:36 PM
I'm a woman, but I spent less time bathing that those. Anyway, it was funny.

How do YOU get the shower? Do you make all of these steps for men's shower?

P.

mrrizla
11th May 2001, 08:21 PM
very good and true http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/bounce.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif

biglove steve
11th May 2001, 08:54 PM
http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif

Neonhaze
11th May 2001, 09:24 PM
http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif

Vallie
11th May 2001, 09:59 PM
That is soooooooooo funny Col - love it!!!!!

and so very true!!!!

http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/biggrin.gif

jahmekya
11th May 2001, 11:36 PM
http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif

ogm
12th May 2001, 12:03 AM
how to shower like a couple....

GET IN THERE AND HAVE SOME FUN

DOC
12th May 2001, 12:51 AM
Hello Everyone,

WEOMEN, EEHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

LOL!!!!!!!!

A.T.B DOC

anto
12th May 2001, 02:19 AM
very funny
love it
it is so true
lol http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/bouncered.gif

mbg
12th May 2001, 10:41 AM
http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif

andi x

The Bone!!!!
12th May 2001, 09:08 PM
So true. http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/bounceyellow.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.giflol: http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/bounceyellow.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/smokin.gif

limey
13th May 2001, 12:04 AM
OMG thank heavens i,m a woman cos after reading that at least i know i come out clean.LOL. http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif

jumbo
13th May 2001, 12:35 AM
http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif....jumbo

sweetcherrie
13th May 2001, 11:00 AM
http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif

swanie
13th May 2001, 01:07 PM
http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif

caja
13th May 2001, 01:16 PM
http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/laff.gif

LadyLynne
15th May 2001, 01:30 PM
http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/lol.gif

imported_ANDY
16th May 2001, 10:43 PM
Brilliant, no truer words spoken and to top it all the wife cleans up the mess!!!
'Tricia' http://www.ub40.co.uk/ubb/bouncered.gif