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29th December 2000, 02:15 AM
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE:
This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a
complete financial statement job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

1. NAME _______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH
________________

2. HEIGHT ____________________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q_______ G.P.A.______
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ DRIVERS LICENSE # __________________

4. BOY SCOUT RANK______________________________________________ ______

5. HOME ADDRESS _________________ CITY/STATE
___________ ZIP _________

6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?___________________________ If No., EXPLAIN
__________________________________________________ _

7. Number of years your parents have been married____________________________

8. Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversized tires? ______ A waterbed? _______ Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? A tattoo_________________ (If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises )

9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you? __________________________________________________ ______________________________________

10. In 50 words or lest, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
__________________________________________________ _______________________
__________________________________________________ _____________________

11. In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
__________________________________________________ ___________________

12. Church you attend _____________ How often do you attend__________________
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? __________

14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)

a) If I were shot the last place on my body I would want wounded is
________

b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my
________________

c) A woman's place is in the
________________________________________

d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
_____________

e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her
______________

( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave
premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

15. What do you want to be IF you grow up?
__________________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

________________________________________ Signature ( That means your name, moron)

Thank you for your interest Please allow four to six years for processing.
You will be notified in writing you are approved. Please do not try to call
or write (since you probably can't and it would cause you injury.) if your
application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing
white ties and carrying violin cases. (You might want to watch your back)

29th December 2000, 02:18 AM
1. NAME __rossy________________________ DATE OF BIRTH
____19/1/42________

2. HEIGHT ___3ft 6_____________ WEIGHT 28stone____ I.Q____4___ G.P.A.______
3. SOCIAL SECURITY # ____n/a_______ DRIVERS LICENSE # _n.a.s.s.a aproved_

4. BOY SCOUT RANK_____grunt____________________________________ _______

5. HOME ADDRESS __10 downing st___ CITY/STATE
london___ ZIP ___w1______

6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?_two female______________ If No., EXPLAIN
__________________________________________________ _

7. Number of years your parents have been married______1______________________

8. Do you own a van? __no__ A truck with oversized tires? __no___ A waterbed? __yes__ Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? A tattoo____yes__________ (If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises )

9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you? on time __________________________________________________ ___

10. In 50 words or lest, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
____play with her bits__________________
__________________________________________________ _____________________

11. In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
__________________________________________________ ______hello_________

12. Church you attend _____666____ How often do you attend__0________________
13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? never_

14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)

a) If I were shot the last place on my body I would want wounded is
_penis_______

b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my
_____spine______

c) A woman's place is in the
_____bedroom____________________________

d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
__my sex_______

e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her
__boobs________

( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave
premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

15. What do you want to be IF you grow up?
______i will never grow up______

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

____the pope___________________________ Signature ( That means your name, moron)
have i passed??

29th December 2000, 02:19 AM
thanks helina...that application form has been sent out to all my friends who have daughters......

29th December 2000, 02:19 AM
Well i am now converted.. I now believe in the supernatural , I thought there must have been another reason to re-connect my printer
yesterday, other than to print out new copies of my C.V.
:d

29th December 2000, 02:20 AM
NOW WHERE WAS THAT APPLICATION FORM WHEN SOME OF US DAUGHTERS GOT MARRIED????!!!!!!
...Just kidding
Big love always,

Desperate

29th December 2000, 02:20 AM
mmmmmm....Cheers H.. ..I have four angelic daughters....and well some of the boyfriends wouldn`t even get to the form stage...they seem to scatter when I mention the word "Bobbit"....mmmmm wonder why?. .. .. ...
jilly