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29th December 2000, 01:43 AM
DEPARTMENT OF VITAL STATISTICS
APPLICATION TO LIVE IN A SOUTHERN REDNECK TOWN
PERSONAL INFORMATION
Name: ______________
Nickname: ____________
Status: __Married ___Divorced ___Queer ___Not sure
Address (miles from town/grid road): __________________
Zip Code: ___Yes ___No
Pa (if not known, list two best suspects): ________________________
Neck shade: ___Light Red ___Medium Red ___Dark Red ___Other __________
Number of teeth exposed in full grin: ___Upper:___ Lower: ___
Make of pickup: _______________ Size of tires: ________
Dogs owned: _____________ Type, if known: ________
How many trucks in your yard: ________ How many on blocks: _____
Do you think O.J. Simpson was guilty? ____Yes ____Definitely
Do you wear: ____Blue Jeans ___Polyester Pants with Snags ____Other, explain _____
Do you own any shoes (not boots)? _____Yes ____No
Size of belt buckle: Width _____ Length _____ Weight _____
Does your wife weigh more than your pickup? ___Yes ____No
Can you sign your name and always spell it right? ____Yes ____No
Have you ever had more than one bath in a week? ____No ___Yes, explain ______

MEDICAL INFORMATION
Do you have at least two of the following:
___B.O. ___Crabs ___Green Teeth ___Brown Teeth ___Yellow Teeth ___Any Teeth
Number of teeth missing ________

GENERAL INFORMATION
Can you count past 10 with your boots on? ___Yes ___No
Can you count past 21 with your fly up? ____Yes ____No
Favourite weapon: ___2x4 ___.22 ___Shotgun
Favourite pastime: ___Drinking ___Gopher hunting ___Other _____
Truck equipped with: ___Gun Rack ___Radar Detector ___8 Track ___Booster cables ___Roll Bar ___CB Radio ___Beer Bottles ___Garter Belt
Favourite music: ____Country _____Western

Your signature (one X will do)_________________ Date: ________

29th December 2000, 01:43 AM
YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!

29th December 2000, 01:44 AM
that joke wuz more fun'n'killin strangers !